When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
