Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
