i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
