last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
