Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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