In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
