Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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