You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
