Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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