xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
