shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
