Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We're too hungover to prance.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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