lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
