He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
