put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
