you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
