On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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