When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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