he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
