He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
