There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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