I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
