how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Are we still banned from the library?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
