No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
