either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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