I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
