i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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