I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize