She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
