Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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