i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
