its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
