I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
