Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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