yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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