This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
