like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
