Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
