The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
