I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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