real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
its not stalking. its research.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize