Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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