I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
