Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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