The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
