somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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