Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
