If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
