Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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