i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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