I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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