At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize