is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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