he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
