UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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