it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
