Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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