This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My vagina just clenched in fear
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
