i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
