I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize