So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
