Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
