I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
