Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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