they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
