There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize