i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
