Fuck appropriateness.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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