Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Boobs speak an international language.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
