Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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