I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
