So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
