chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
and she was petting her beer can
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
