who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
