That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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