The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
