Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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