pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
